Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Best Cartoon Bands (and their albums)

Ok, everyone, I'll admit that I'm too into cartoon bands. Here's why: I am instantly turned off by music made by inflated egos. From the wankiest metal to the most saccharine singer/songwriter schmoltz, I just don't have the stomach for it. The problem is, all music has some element of the ego that is discernible. From a choice in lyrics to a grandiose cadence, there are moments in ego-driven music that are clear to the attentive listener.

How often have you heard a song and thought "if it wasn't this guy singing this song, I'd like it"? That is ego infiltrating the music.

Every indie rocker loves a J Mascis solo, but the 5th minute of said solo?

Think about the word "music". If something were economic, you'd say that's because it has to do with the economy. If something were categoric, you'd say that's because it has to do with categories. Therefore, music has to do with a muse. Music is everywhere. From the Doppler effect to birds chirping to whales singing to the breeze sweeping through a tree's branches. This kind of music does not try to alter what would naturally conspire. A tree probably does not grow its branches to tune the wind. A bird does not realize his or her language sounds like a song to human ears.

Carlos Santana described ego-less music by saying that musicians are not the source of the music, but merely a channel for the music inherent in the world. When a musician is in tune with this music and truly acts as a receiver, a freeing sense overwhelms them and their body ceases to be theirs. They succumb to the muse.

Now, Carlos Santana has a name for himself. But, does the guy who pretended to be Squiddly Diddly? No.

To me, that means that there is another layer by which the musician removes his or her ego from the music and that is by not even attaching his or her name (and all that involves) to the music. This, for me, makes their records completely listenable because I know that the musicians are not imposing their egos on it, they are imposing the egos of the character they are pretending to be.

Whether you're John McLaughlin, Carlos Santana or Ravi Shankar, there is still some element of ego that sneaks into the music you make. This happens the second you attempt to control the music you make. What was naturally flowing through you is now coming from you and that makes a noticeable sonic difference to the listener.

By adding creativity to this unfortunate inevitability, these cartoon musicians have taken their own egos virtually out of the music.

Plus, these songs are awesome!

So, without futher ado, the best cartoon albums ever made. All links are for informational purposes only.

1. Squiddly Diddly's Surf Album


http://sharebee.com/714ec39c

The best part of this album is that the title character (one of Yogi Bear's "friends") doesn't even sing on it! There is a theme song and 11 other 60s surf songs. It was performed by "The Hanna Barbara Singers", whoever they are! The Dust Bunnies' favorite song is "Surf Bunny", though "Shoot The Tube" is also amazing.



2. The Banana Splits/Meet The Beagles split LP




http://www.megaupload.com/?d=BICKBRZA

This album is proof that there is no ego in this music. Not only is it "made" by crazy animals it is a SPLIT release! Bands helping bands (even when the bands aren't "real"). Actually, The Beagles went on to become the Banana Splits once headier music became more popular. These songs were meant to mimic popular bubblegum pop songs, but since they're not an actual singer trying to get an actual girl, the sicky-sweet lines like "I enjoy being a boy in love with you" don't seem as annoying. They're just referring to general love. Not an "I'm in a band, love me" thing, but an "I love love, don't you?" thing! Groovy.



3. The Amazing Chan and The Chan Clan



http://www.box.net/shared/de8ymud3gd

We're now getting in to a sub-genre of cartoon rock: bands that also fight crime. The Amazing Chan was pretty much a too-smart-for-his-own-good kid (seen here playing the trombone) that followed his detective father around and, in the end, managed to play a critical hand in solving various mysteries. These songs talk about things like solving mysteries, being a good son and, of course LOVE! It is rather convincing that these themes would be on Chan's mind. Sure, his big brother helps out, but we all know that Chan could have done it by himself!


4. The (original) Impossibles!




http://www.megaupload.com/?d=33WX1PPG
Yes, these guys also fought crime! What a service they did for mankind. Not only were they playing the hippest teenage parties, they were also putting an end to dastardly nemeses such as Televisitron, The Bubbler and The Insidious Inflator ANONYMOUSLY. That's right! Fluid Man, Coily and Multi-Man were not their real names. Unfortunately, this band was not very prolific. In fact, I'm not sure if they ever even wrote an entire song. This link includes segments from the show that feature clips of songs. But, sometimes you just need to hear the gist of things to know that you are going to love them.

5. The Archies


http://sharebee.com/14b35aca

Without the Beatles, would there really be rock and roll? Without Malcom X and Martin Luther King, Jr. would there really be a civil rights movement? Without Timothy Leary would there have been an acid revolution? Nay, bro. By no means. In order for cartoon rock to really make a name for itself and earn respect, it needed a star. The Archies are the only animated band to have a number one song and a dog in their band! Plus, without the Archies, Jughead from Screeching Weasel would have to be called...uh...Fleagle? The Archies showed the music world that you can sell records even if you don't actually exist in three dimensions. Imagine being Captain Beyond and making a completely amazing prog album and reading in Billboard that "Sugar, Sugar" was outselling you! Well, whatever. The Archies showed us that ego doesn't determine a band's success.

There are many many more cartoon bands and cartoon band albums. Please do yourself a favor and track them down. They are all amazing, anonymous gems of virtually ego-less music.

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